"Noam moaned," moaned Noam.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 last rejection letter...

Dear Shirt,

I am very sorry to inform you that it is not possible to offer you admission to the suitcase of 2006-2007. I wish I were writing to report a different decision, but the competition was so rigorous this year that there were many outstanding other options to whom we could not offer places.

Nearly twenty-three thousand shirts applied to the entering suitcase. The great majority of the applicants could certainly have been successful here ,and most other options were also "top" candidates (PUN TOTALLY INTENDED). The Committee was, therefore, faced with the necessity of choosing a class from a great many more talented and highly qualified shirts than it had room to admit.

We wish it were possible for us to admit more of our fine applicants, and we understand how difficult the year abroad packing application process can be for shirts and their matching accessories and pants. While the Committee conducted its deliberations with the utmost care, we know that no one can predict with certainty what an shirt would accomplish during this next year or beyond. Past experience suggests that the particular trip a shirt is worn in is far less important than what the shirt does to develop his or her strengths and talents over the next many years (in the basement bish!).

We very much appreciate the interest you have shown in Noam's Suitcase. We hope that you will accept the best wishes of the Committee for success in all your future endeavors.


Noam Q. Roth
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid

(you were the shit, really. but i haven't worn you in five years, and not only does my head not really fit through the hole (that uni education really does something for ya), but seeing as uh, style changes rapidly, you are really tacky and unfashionable. actually i think you were nerdy and ugly when i bought you too...oops? So its time to put you in the big brown box labeled "noam's old clothes" as opposed to the closet/pile on the floor containing packing material. Sorry about the rash decision, but our acceptance rate is 15% and you just didn't make the cut! )

p.s. yes i am wearing my harvard hoodie right now and yes it is the softest comfiest thing ever. and i don't think i'm taking it, so there ha!