"Noam moaned," moaned Noam.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

...and I don't want the world to see me cuz I don't think that they'd understand...

this is gonna sound angsty, maybe I should switch to lj. and you're not allowed to comment saying omg Noam what's wrong *hug* cuz that's lame I'm not depressed just thinking.

I really want to go to college. I want to skip this year. I want to be able to start over on a clean slate, and I don't want to miss anybody. I don't want to know anybody, I want everybody to be new. I just want to leave now and never want to come back. And I don't want any complications, just life.

...I just want you to know who I am...ooh song quote.

How come sometimes, you get to know somebody and you think you completely understand them, and then it turns out its completely different. So you can never know someone all the way. And people can fake emotions, and fake personalities, and fake what they say and what they do. So you can create a whole different world for yourself based on willpower. And trick people. and then if you think you like/hate someone, what if you're just liking/hating the fake them? Thats not good. Because then the person who likes/hates has fake emotions, that are based on person1's fake emotions....FEEDBACK CYCLE OF DOOM----> the whole world is fake???? Thats so screwed up.

And I could live without the people I know. Because if you fake personalities, you can find the exact same person everywhere. I can easily act like someone else for a day. or at least act like what others perceive of them. So then what is the basis of missing/knowing people? You think you care, but really its all the same. And of all of the people I know, I know myself the least, that freaks me out a lot.

Alright I give up. Bye.

Edit like 2 seconds later : Michelle is getting married, eeeeek.

Monday, September 26, 2005

...senior dilemma...

I don't have any senior quotes! This is dumb, because I say lots of dumb things, so you'd think I would remember some funny occurences. BUT NO. maybe this is because all of the really funny ones are me :P. probably. well anyways, people need to start saying really dumb funny stuff rapidly now, so that i can write it down.

happy birthday ariana. I've officially written this twice today, so I'm like, an awesome friend, or something.

ALSO colette gave me episode one of the OC. maybe I'll watch it tomorrow night or something. YES. or tonight, if mommy allows me to. that would roxor my boxors. to the max on ice.

in other news, there aren't any. or at least nothing important I can think of. I almost have an A in math, and I probably will after this hwk or so. that is a very good thing. Also hopefully in philosophy, if we get tests and essays back. then lets see....english I think I am failing, which is bad. history first test thursdayish. ummmm. anatphys. lalala. yeahhhhhhhh.

and now I have to talk to lisa, and decide about earlyapps/interviews. I also have to get like a 2400 on the SAT. but other than that, my life seems relaxed right now. Its so good. I really want to go take a nap. Maybe I'll stare at the math on my bed and listen to music, thats the closest I'm gonna get.

It's over.

Saturday, September 24, 2005


dude. I just found one of those fortune teller foldy thingys....of lizzie mcguire quotes. This must have been made the summer that the movie came out. Or sometime around then. oh godddd its so hilarious! I can't believe I actually wasted time making it. Haha actually I totally think of myself as that kind of person.

Sooooo. Today I went to anat/phys. and realized that I need senior quotes. badly. so maybe I'll do that sometime soon or something.

Also, I apologize to ariana and/or other cat lovers. Cats don't suck. I just haven't seen any (literally) for over a month. So it is traumatizing.

And colette doesn't have the oc season 3 episode one. meaning our oc marathon is dumbly postponed or something. maybe tomorrow afternoon at some point. hmm.

Thats enough for now, my mom claims I have hwk. which is like...not very true, but whatevs. someone tell me when the math is due, I have no idea.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

...HUMPHrey bogart...

angry. I need to kill someone. NOW.
I wish I didn't have to leave school so soon, I could have talked to people. Or murdered some, whichever is more legal/satisfying. (insatiable kitties...)

I am really pissed. I have serious anger managment problems. omg, I have rage blackouts like Summer. This means I will get Seth Cohen, sex god. haha, or non sex god, but he's still hott.

Welcome to a world of insecurity and paralyzing self doubt.

I need to go soon. I don't care though. maybe I should just sit here and not do my philosophy paper or two math assignments or study for my philosophy test. that way I could....not feel any better. ah well, dance usually does that, computers don't ever. peace out.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

...too dumb to be creative...

my mom is freakin psychotic. I'll elaborate later, I should go do math. just thought I'd say that.

EDIT: okay now I shall take a break from my *strenuous* college apping. ha, yea right.

so today was decent. I turned in my U of I app. sooooooooo done. I have like 10 more actually stressful ones to go, but at least progress has been made. Also today, I got a hug and an "I love you" from THREE people. how crazy is that. and I wasn't even depressed. that is rawkin awesome is what I think of it, yes. I should go around randomly hugging people all day tomorrow. except then they might poke me, and then I might squeal. Actually I would definitely squeal.

Oh yea today there was a quote that isn't funny but I said I would write it down somewhere:

Claire: *lick lick*
Me: aaaaah that was really erotic.

she was licking my finger, in case there are dirty people reading this. but still, the quote holds. and due to this wonderful erotic lesbian experience, the rest of the day I was really dirty, as Rose found out during 7th. nooo not like that. sooo yeah. she found it mildly amusing that I interpreted sex out of EVERYTHING. but apparently she thinks I am like this normally. Which is probably true.

what else lets think. oh yes, my mom got realllly pissed at me, and I was scared for my life. I don't really care, but still, this happens at least twice a day and I'm getting really happy that graduation is soonish. as in this year. Even though, yes, I will miss people. Like... all of the junior class. I sooo hang out with them more this year. probably because they're on the same floor, plus I'm sick of our class. Not entirely, I'm sure I'll miss them too ;).

Aaaaaariana sent me a letter. It was excellent. especially the card, and the graph paper. omg, so hott. I love being a nerd!!!

People need to comment. I'm sick of commentless blogging. I know who you are, and I know where you live. at least most of you, I think.

oh, get this. on a dove chocolate wrapper : "There's a time for's called later!" I don't get that. Isn't that pessimistic and not uplifting and mushy? hmm.

Time for me to national merit my little butt out of here.

P.S. from tel aviv to ramallah. omg. I don't want to miss it, unfair. oh well, tough.

Monday, September 19, 2005

...quick rant...

okay wtf is up with the stupid blogspam crap. like every blog i have read in the past couple of days has had some. its so lame. its like whoa, this post has 27 comments, and you click that to find out 26 of them are junk and one is some guy you barely know who says *comment* or hi what's up. Its so freaking annoying.

ughhh. the people need to stop. its so random and gross and bad. oh and yea i know domier posted exactly about this recently, tough i wanted to rant too. speaking of that, i need to add lots of people to my link list. maybe some other time, someone remind me.

speaking of someone reminding me, NO ONE REMINDED ME ABOUT MY ENGLISH POEM thank you very much. that was sorta dumb. i wonder if we get graded way down or how does that work.

goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.

P.S. the storm is scary and it reminds me of sad times (1 month ariana!), but its also really pretty. all I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watching the puddles gather rain....and all I can do is just pour some T for two, and give my point of view but it's not sane....not sane....not saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane......

okay not really a quick rant, haha, but oooh lightning. Stephen and I are philosophy buddies, meaning during 7th we bum around talking about philosophy. and maybe tomorrow I'll have T too, and he said he'd bring biscuits omg. so we can have a rawkin' party. w00t w00t.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

...and i'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes...

man oh man have I not posted for a while! almost a week, how terrible.

sammy died. for those of you who didn't know him, you won't get it. but he was great and I loved him, so this is me paying my respects. My sister is crying her heart out and it hasn't quite sunk in for me yet, although I don't hink I will cry, I've been doing too much death-thinking lately, its all too philosophical. so yes. we loved you sammy! *condolences to dejong family*

and no snide comments on him "just being a dog". Btw, I think I'm shifting back to being a dog person. Cuz face it, there's no reason for me to be a cat person anymore. none whatsoever. I haven't even seen a cat for like a month. whoa....exactly a month today since that one day!!! wow. so yea. cats suck.

lots of college stuff to do. I really don't want to do it. It sucks.

oh yea, and we finished oc season 2. time for season 3 to begin! And once more, lots of death. how come this week is so deathy. ugh. (yes i know its just a tv show, but that doesn't mean it can't make me think.)

And we watched the matrix last night, and then I had some weird dreams with deja vus in them, it was freaky. alright, bye.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

...this air is blessed, you share with me...

romantic duets!

MAJOR last year flashbacks. *sadness* ugh I don't like being emotional. I like being very happy, and knowing that I can also help other people while being happy. What I've found is not only do I not really know how to give very informative advice, I sometimes get depressed because of other people's problems. I need to fix that.

I bet I scared you didn't I? ha, but I'm not actually being sad or emotional. but this song *does* remind me of last year. and I knew. that you meant it. that you meant it.....

anyhoo, life's decent, I felt like blogging. math rules my life, sorta. not really actually at all. Our class apparently has beef. I personally think that a lot of times, people create beef for the sake of beef. not saying I'm not guilty of this, just saying it happens WAY too much.

man, I keep getting distracted and not writing anything. cue to stop now, sorry, faithful readers. (haha)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

...ugh college...

Senior Survivor Sunday. Ugh.

They should have played the "I will survive" song. Other than that, it was a mix of complete bs we shouldn't be wasting our time on, and a vague undertone of "you know, its gonna SUCK, you may as well all kill yourselves now." So I don't know which to choose.

however, on a lighter note, blockbuster has oc disc 4!!!!! maybe soon we can be done, and have a major second season party, w00t. If my mom weren't equally obsessed, I could walk over and get stuff at rentertainment 1st period, then watch during lunch, 5th, and 7th. that is such a good idea. but no.

Anyhoo, the lack of stress from math has been muchly appreciated. I worked on some, but all the while knowing I was working ahead, and I didn't have to be. I also did 50 pages of English reading, and I feel accomplished, with the goal of actually reading what they tell us to this year. I did the other years, but not on time. So I had to cram readings in before essays/tests. Bad plan.

Major parental stress issues, but I'll be able to deal with that. Oh and my mom made me park...urg, in this spot after I had already pretty much passed it, so I had to pull in and reverse over and over and over again it was TERRIBLE. It took like 10 minutes, and there were all these people...agh. Anyways, much stress because of that. And no, I don't have my license, even though I technically could. But that is a story to be post.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


heh, ignore the last post, not angry anymore.

lots of stuff to do, senior year is good in that it seems relaxing, but you still somehow have stuff to keep you busy. which is decentish i suppose. and atleast the stuff is rather enjoyable (who wouldn't want to do 100 integrals??!!)

Not too much gossipy/drama stuff lately (shut up mo, no.) so I have less to feel like I have forgotten to think about. if that makes any sense. k, it doesn't at all, but whatever.

Today I go back to dance, I skipped the last two cuz of my back and we had monday off. So I'm gonna be really sore very soon. Ah well, something to keep my mind off the calc.

And I can't believe I have to do my resume. that sucks. maybe I'll blow off the english reading because of that. hmm.

ooooookay nothing interesting in my life, I don't know why I posted. byebye.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I just typed up a perfectly good post, and then my computer decided to hate me. thanks a lot, not enough people hate me already, now I need an inanimate object on my list.

so what i said before was something like:
"grrrr I'm really angry. My mom looks through my stuff, dancebag, room, computer, etc. My parents think I don't work hard enough, but I do, I am stressed. I am also angry at other people, grr. but as Abby puts so eloquently (and this applies to like 10 people) 'I'm not mad at you, I just HATE you.' excellent. "

so yea, anger. there is a theme to this post. lets do literary criticism, reader response. the theme is anger! oh yea I totally don't think about school enough, it only is MY WHOLE LIFE. uuuuuurg. parents.

right so, no license for Noam. The one outlet to GET OUT OF THIS STUPID HOUSE is gone. cuz I don't work hard enough. although seeing as I've been being loud and annoying all the time, I doubt I'll even have anywhere to go in the potential car, in terms of people to do stuff with. heh, that wasn't supposed to sound as lonely/depressed/selfhating as it did.

Maybe I'll do math hwk, I bet it will cheer me up. Oh wait, it will frustrate me beyond belief. same diff really. ......... Sorry I seemed so angry in this post guys, ranting is fun!

speaking of guys, comment! because I comment on people's bloggy things when they're interesting. not that this post is, but comment in general. Especially if you live in germany and haven't responded to my email yet :P.

Edit: I forgot to ever add this quote, it seems appropriate
Dark Kitten God (9:35:39 PM): aaah *cries*
Dark Kitten God (9:35:44 PM): i looked at myself int he mirror

Saturday, September 03, 2005, excitement...

accomplishments: (lists are fun)

-first real week of school over
-we are now in september
-i know what is in the handbook
-i will never ever make a list of all the hot guys in our class. it would be nonexistent anyways (ooooooh burn)
-this week, felt really gossipy and shallow cuz, well, i knew a lot of gossip
-didn't tell it to too many people though so i'm ok
-finished fitness testing (ready for 12 minute run everyone????)
-started dance
-fell in love with tap class all over again (like seriously, head over heels, no pun intended)
-really want to take hip hop
-some math hwk, but not #11
-realized that sharing our floor with the junior class isn't too bad, except for the people that know where i'm ticklish....
-managed to torture many many people by not telling them things
-became slightly more philosophical, understood mpitt stuff 7th period
-was hyper
-laughed a lot
-was too noisy, a lot
-oh oh yeah, added a guy to my rejection list ;)
-was yelled at by my parents
-got over it
-israeli dinner party time, g2g!

Thursday, September 01, 2005 period...

I like this whole 2.5 free period thing. definitely cool.

So yeah, here I am in first period, bright and early, lalala. I'm really bored, and I guess there's stuff I could be doing for school, but hey, I'm taking a break. I take way too many breaks.

There hasn't been too much drama in the past couple of days. I guess that's kinda relaxing. on the other hand, I think I've become rather addicted to drama, its not good. Because it feels like something is missing in my life, but its just...angst. I suppose thats very good. Not my angst necessarily, or even other peoples', just people's lives changing and being interesting. Oh well, we can be boring.

Maybe this weekend we will have an Israeli party, we'll see how plans go with that. And going to the cottage...? awesome. also, I must finish the OC disc we have. its exciting. And I have a lot of stuff to do otherwise, but not in an overwhelming I-have-way-too-much-annoying-homeworky-stuff-to-do kinda way. just kinda...stuff to occupy my time.

Which I have a lot more of this year, did I mention that? It makes me so happy. yay.

Alright, time to go philosophize! See you later. But do you really exist? what is reality? What is truth? omg....